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  • #16
    It's particularly that "twist" that I'm concerned with keeping under wraps, although anyone that knows Shinto mythology may pick up on the true identities of Ms. Omi and Mr. Stork quite quickly.

    I want to re-emphasize that I've been kicking this story idea around, writing it in various drafts, for literally twenty years. This manuscript took me two years to write. So after that much effort, I'm bothered to have little continuity errors creep in after I made such a deliberate effort to weed out and explain any and everything that could be considered a plot hole.

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    • #17
      The book has a lot of symbolism and theme in it. The book has four sub-textual characterization themes running through it that I'm consciously aware of. In my manuscript, I have 7 typed pages of notes annotating all of the symbols, allusions, and references found in the novel. Even the title Bloody Angel itself seems very simplistic but actually has at least four different meanings and nuances in relation to the story. I'll explain them as spoilers, so highlight to read (recommended only for people that have already read the book):

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      • #18
        Actually, that image never occurred to me at all.
        Avatar -Louise de La Vallière

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        • #19
          Well, my review is up.
          http://www.animenation.net/forums/blog.php?b=3786

          There was one other thing that struck me as odd.
          Avatar -Louise de La Vallière

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          • #20
            My presumption has always been that Kojima didn't bother to "report" to anyone that he'd found an abandoned child in the building. Since he just assumed that she'd been left behind by an employee, her presence could have had a normal, natural explanation. Presumably she slipped away from him shortly later, and rather than admit that he "lost" the girl, he just didn't report it at all. The deliberate reason why Kojima re-appears near the end of the book is to provide another example of the theme that fate controls everyone's destiny. Remember that early in the book Kojima mentions that he doesn't like working on the ground floor?

            I am glad that you realized who the child was. Some of my early rough-draft readers had trouble figuring out who she was, so I made some revisions to make her identity more obvious.

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            • #21
              This is going to sound like whining because I'm venting some personal frustration. I just finished reading a translated Japanese light novel which I will not name, for specific private reasons. The book really wasn't very good. Not terrible, but not very good. It's a story about a Japanese young man who gets transported to a fantasy world to be its hero. After his first day in the new world, he spends the next 120 pages of the 191-page story fighting low-level monsters and mixing herbs in order to level up. Then he participates in a massive battle and feels proud that he managed to avoid getting killed. And that's roughly the entire book. The story does have a little bit more narrative development to it, but not much. This very cliche and very simplistic novel not only got published; it got a manga adaptation and even got licensed for an official English language translation.

              My light novel is magnitudes more literate, intelligent, original, complex, and better written, yet I struggle just to convince even my close friends to read it. Granted, my opinion of my own book may be subjective, but I'm a college writing and literature professor with seven years of professional teaching experience, so I am qualified to distinguish between good and poor writing.

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              • #22
                Old Hat,

                Thanks very much for the considerate review. I do appreciate you pointing out the "inkling" typo and the typo that "a imparting beam," ought to be "an imparting beam." Indeed, as you figured, Anastasia is "imparting" her frustration. I didn't want to re-use the verb "radiating."

                I've long struggled with the, "Few places where a supposedly intelligent character is oddly dense, gullible or slow to catch on because the plot requires it." I've tried to deliberately compose these instances to evoke the sense that the confusion is partially caused by the abstract, imprecise nature of Japanese language. There are plenty of people that will argue that Japanese language is plenty specific. There are also just as many critics that will agree that Japanese language tends to be particularly opaque.

                Excluding any typos that may still pop up, I'm personally satisfied with the book the way it is, and considering present circumstances, the book is probably going to go straight to Amazon digital release as is. I'm hoping to work with a friend some time this summer to assemble an e-book book cover illustration for it.

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                • #23
                  There's a lot of talking around things in Japanese.

                  Does a room exist?
                  A room is $500 a night.
                  A cheaper room is a good thing.

                  That's not quite what I mean. Shizuka


                  Actually. I'm not 100% sure I have the early sequence of events straight. I think I have it straight but I'm not completely sure. Just to make sure of something,


                  I was wondering why you changed the description of the Kusanagi-no-Tsurugi.
                  Avatar -Louise de La Vallière

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                  • #24
                    Sorry for the late reply. Yes. Himiko does perpetrate her hack from Osamu Fujiwara's desk in order to frame him. In an earlier draft of the story, I clarified that, but I later removed it because I thought I was being too obvious. Old Hat, you did interpret that correctly. The handful of other readers that have read the story also figured that out without me having to bluntly spell it out.

                    It is Shizuku that says, "The latest hack was much more obvious, so simplistic that it’s like she wanted us to catch it." Shizuku only sees the superficial. She has such a superiority complex that she can't fathom the possibility that she's being manipulated. Notice that Shizuku also takes a superior attitude with her employees, and she underestimates Anastasia when they first meet. She acts quickly in response to the hack because she wants to earn praise from Stork. The book specifically mentions, "...in a tone that sought praise for a job well done." She doesn't even stop to consider that the hack may have been a trap. It's Stork, the more devious and experienced one, who warns, "She might have tried to distract us with an obvious attack disguising a more subtle one." Of course, by the time Stork hears of the situation, the ball is already rolling.

                    Oh, keep in mind that I began composing this story literally 20 years ago. I have hand-written drafts from 1994. I didn't have much internet access back then, so I never actually looked up the historical description of the Kusanagi no Tsurugi. I just made it what I wanted it to be because I think it's much more stylish that way. Being historically accurate and having the sword look more similar to a Roman broadsword just isn't as "neat" as having a katana.
                    Last edited by John; May 28th, 2015, 11:36 AM.

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                    • #25
                      Did you link my blog somewhere? I never get that many views that fast.
                      Avatar -Louise de La Vallière

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                      • #26
                        I did put a direct link on the AnimeNation News Blog page, which auto posts to the AnimeNation Facebook page.

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                        • #27
                          Interesting! I like the details like the mitama on the alter.
                          Sub. freak.
                          ---------
                          Sue ikki
                          mi hatenu yume no
                          hotsure kana- Choko

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                          • #28
                            This is what it is, albeit with a bit of stylistic revision:

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                            • #29
                              It's literally been years, and I'm finally about ready to give up on convincing my graphic artist friends to assemble an ebook cover illustration for me. So this is what I came up with myself.

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                              • #30
                                Maybe now I'm finally, finally done writing this book. I noticed today that my last revision was dated December 19, 2016. On that date, exactly two months ago, I decided that I wanted to add an additional scene to create more rapport between Anastasia & Himiko. So I slapped together a 615 word additional scene, but I wasn't happy with it. So I've been literally mulling it over in my mind for two months, piecing together better ideas until I finally had the final flash of inspiration I was waiting for this afternoon. So I scrapped the prior 615 word scene and replaced it with a nearly entirely re-written 1,121 words that I'm far happier with. So now, I think, I'm finally at a point to which I'm satisfied with every paragraph, every page, every scene.

                                Now I just need to get Alden to finish up that draft cover art that he was working on.

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